


Monsters That Go Bump in the Night

by SolarQueen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (For a 6 Chapter Fic), Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Cat BB-8, F/M, Found Family, M/M, Slow Burn, Take That as Your Trigger Warning, When it says Graphic Violence I mean it, anxious characters, dog Chewie, traumatised characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-01-23 01:13:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18539272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SolarQueen/pseuds/SolarQueen
Summary: Monsters, aliens, undead creatures, they’re all part of stories made to scare. Stories made for the amusement of people of all ages, not made as a warning to prepare for the end of the world.The end of the world is never on anyone’s mind. No one would have guessed it would end and become overrun by the monsters that go bump in the night.





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first proper Reylo/Star Wars fic so pls be nice lmao

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> End of the World as we know it.

It was a Saturday, Poe remembers that vividly, he was twelve and Ben was nine, they were building a Lego fort in his room while his mom cooked dinner downstairs. Ben’s mom, Leia, was across the street, sitting on their lawn and reading like she normally did on sunny days and Ben’s dad, Han, was coming home from work, he helped out with the local scouts, a simple thing after everything he’d done in the war almost over ten years ago now. It was normal, at least it had been, Poe couldn’t even remember now if he’d heard of anything being off before everything fell apart; though he can’t imagine the military or any news channels reporting just what was going on before it got out of hand, the military probably thought they had it under control.

He remembers his mom rushing into the room, something in her eyes Poe hadn’t been able to translate as a child but knew now that it was unmeasurable _fear_. She’d rushed them to put something more practical on, easy to move in clothes but also jackets and their best sneakers, she’d handed them backpacks, told them to pack a couple pairs of trousers and more jackets, maybe a book and a few bottles of water she’d brought up afterwards. Ben had looked more scared than Poe knew how to feel, he was mostly confused, confused by what his mom wasn’t telling him and by what she was making them do. But he listened, because she was his mom and she always knew what to do, she always kept him safe.

Poe had been more confused when they’d been rushed outside and into Han’s jeep, Leia in the passenger seat with Poe’s mom jumping in after both him and Ben. All of the adults had told them to keep their heads down, cover their ears and don’t look out of the windows, Ben had grabbed his hand and if Poe hadn’t seen the boy’s wide, teary eyes he probably would have shaken his hand off instead of gripping back like he had. There were noises Poe hadn’t been able to decipher going off outside, now he’d recognise gunshots any day of the week (not that he knows what day of the week it is anymore), now he’d be able to understand that the groans meant the dead, the walking corpses that would and did give him nightmares consistently.

He doesn’t remember how long Han had been driving for before something slammed into the right side of the car and pulled both his and Ben’s attention away from the car’s foot wells. The adults tried to get them to look down again, his mom pressed a hand into the space between his shoulders, but the damage was done. Poe knew what the fear was then, Ben squeezed his hand, a choked wail escaping his throat as he curled into Poe’s side, tears running tracks down his cheeks; Poe hadn’t been able to tear his eyes away from the things outside (now he could pass thirty without sparing them a second glance). Han kept driving, but he and Ben had talked about those people enough to know that they’d both been scarred from that moment onwards.

The only way Poe could have described the people was disgusting if not terrifying. They were things out of nightmares, grey skin, missing chunks of skin, missing eyes, jaws, legs, arms, anything someone could lose, Poe saw some of the things dragging themselves along the ground, he saw actual people running away from them, jumping on cars or getting in cars. He saw people go down, hid Ben’s face in his shoulder when they caught the same woman being overwhelmed by those creatures, Poe only saw part of her get ripped to shreds before his mom covered his eyes.

He still doesn’t know when they got out of the city, Han and Leia were talking about going looking for Ben’s Uncle Luke but he was almost a week’s drive away teaching astrology at a university Poe never bothered to learn the name of. It had been decided that they would head that way, but only because military bases were that way too, they weren’t going to hope Luke was still alive when there was the _major_ risk that he wasn’t. Poe knows Ben still likes to believe Luke is alive.

Han drove until he had to stop for gas. The area was quiet, cars already piled at the side of the road from people needing to get away from the monsters that Poe figures now must’ve pooled in from the woods close by. He and Ben were left in the car by themselves while both their parents went out to get gas from the nearby cars; they promised they hadn’t gone far, they _promised_ they had kept the boys and the jeep in their sight so Ben had only opened the window a little bit to let air in before either of them panicked too much, it was the tiniest crack and they both could’ve _sworn_ they couldn’t fit their fingers through the gap.

But something had to go wrong for them didn’t it? It wasn’t enough that all of this had already scared them enough that this day was so vividly etched into Poe’s brain like a scar that would never fade. No, they had to live something, it just so happened that what they had to live was the fear of near death and the _fucking_ _awful_ feel of their first kill. At twelve and nine fucking years old. One of those monsters had tucked its fingers through the gap in the window, easily broken flesh folding away to let the thing reach further in for them; Poe remembers screaming, he remembers Ben screaming, and he remembers the two of them tucking themselves as far away from the window as they could possibly get until the window shattered from the monster’s pull and it reached in for them further. _It_ _had been so close_. Poe doesn’t remember if it grabbed his foot or Ben’s, but one of them screamed even louder, kicked out at it as it half fell into the car through the window, an eye hanging out of it’s face and making Poe throw up in his mouth. One of them had grabbed his mom’s bag, unzipped it in hopes of finding something to help, one of them had found a knife and he remembers their hands clasping around one another and the knife handle to drive the thing into the monster’s skull, the sickening sound of squishy flesh and nigh on nonexistent bone cracking under the pressure of two frightened children.

They’d scrambled out of the car, faces tear streaked, snotty, a splashed by dots of stale blood soon accompanied by vomit as Poe retched into the grass next to the car while Ben frantically tried to suck air into lungs that wouldn’t respond. That’s how their parents found them, Poe’s mom had almost had a panic attack herself, kneeling in front of Poe who’d sat on the ground next to his emptied stomach while Han and Leia stopped Ben from passing out. Neither of them could get back in the car, so Leia made the executive decision to change vehicles to a slightly smaller station wagon, all of their stuff fit and both he and Ben couldn’t visualise the monster coming through the window as well as they had when his mom tried to get them back in.

Ben had curled into Poe again, they clung to each other, taking up a small corner of the backseat as they drifted to sleep on that first, terrifying day of their new lives. They weren’t allowed to be children anymore. Even now he’s sure he knew that even then.

* * *

Luke had been teaching an extra class the day it happened. It was the class he held, unpaid, not registered, for many of his students who had bigger responsibilities than just university. One of his students, Isabella Tico, took this class and brought her young four year old, Paige, with her, both girls were lovely: Isabella paid attention, offered exceptional answers, was overall incredibly intelligent despite the rumours that had been perpetuated about her when she’d joined the university with a barely one year old baby girl. Paige was a delight, she was a rather quiet toddler, often spotted attacking a piece of paper with multicoloured crayons to try and recreate the images Luke would put up on the projector; he had quite a few of her scribbled drawings on his desk on the days she’s waddle up to him and slap them into his waiting hands. She reminded him a little of Ben, his nephew who he missed dearly, and having the girl there was a frequent delight to even some of the students who’d told him the first day Isabella brought her that they hated children. 

If it had been any other day, a weekday where professors were sure they were there rather than a day where a class could be cancelled without Luke having to tell anybody but the students, they may have been warned; but if it was a weekday his students may not have had their children, and Luke still isn’t sure what he would've done if he had to take care of Isabella grieving her little girl. He can’t imagine it and frankly doesn’t want to. So, without warning, without anybody there to get them from their lecture hall, they were caught off guard. Luke lost a lot of students that day, some simply rank and he hadn’t seen them since but others took their last breaths in his classroom, staring at projections of stars.

Something had bumped into his door, he usually closed it for the sake of keeping the lighting low, the simple noise and whatever was there had set Paige off in a way she never usually cried before. Others in his classroom made faces of either fear and disgust and many stood up, inching or scrambling towards the back fire escape. He turned to the door as Isabella stood, her bag immediately going on her back as she tried to hush Paige; he almost didn’t want to believe what he was seeing when he looked, he thought he was hallucinating. Grey skin and visible bones was not normal for human beings.

One of the boys at the back of the class screamed, the fire escape door slamming open but another professor, _alive_ , came running in. Luke noticed the limp right away, caught his coworker who must’ve been on campus somewhere, and helped him rest against his desk.

“You have to get out of here, you have to get these kids out, _now_ , Luke,” the man choked, blood dribbling down his chin. He pressed something into Luke’s hand and it took him a second to realise it was a gun. A _gun_. He hadn’t used one since the war and at the time Luke remembers not being so sure he wanted to use one then. “Don’t let those fuckers bite you, they got me an hour ago and I’m going to drop soon, that door isn’t going to hold much longer and only so many of those things are going to come fore me. The others will be after you in a second, they can hear you I don’t know if they can't smell you or not, and even if you see one without eyes, it has ways of finding you. Now _go_!”

Luke nodded at his former friend firmly, the two of them clasping each other on the shoulders before Luke bounded up the stairs of his lecture hall as fast as a man his age could. His students followed after him, but there was a resounding crack as the door fell inwards and those creatures swarmed the room. Some of them got grabbed while the rest were fleeing, he saw so many scramble in the direction of the parking lot or their dorm rooms but Isabella stayed at his side, Paige still wailing in her arms as she tried to calm her, tears springing in her own eyes. With every turn Luke took he always looked back to make sure Isabella and Paige were no more than a couple of paces behind him, he had kept his focus on them and keeping them safe instead of being overtaken by the thoughts of what was happening to his family so far away from him. Back then he had two helpless individuals to look after with no idea were to go or what to do about the situation, but now, the level of helplessness has certainly lessened and he has more quiet time to think about his family; Ben would have been nine, he couldn’t imagine what he had thought, especially if something were to have happened to Poe - he can only hope all of them survived the initial chaos and are still surviving now.

He and Isabella had seen a horde of the monsters turn around the corner of another building, their groans and unsightly appearances sending her off course to avoid them; he’d followed, the two of them skidding under cars parallel to each other and holding their breaths. He watched Isabella like a hawk, keeping his finger pressed to his lips and switching eye contact between the woman and Paige, even for a toddler she seemed to understand the severity of the situation and used both her hands to cover her mouth, body pressed and almost completely hidden by her mother’s. What followed was the slowest ten minutes of Luke’s life, the creatures ambled past them, shoes of students he recognised scuffing along the ground, the smell was pungent, stale, but damp, he almost gagged but held the sensation down by his own damn force of will.

Part of him honestly isn’t quite sure what happened next, he thinks they stayed under those cars until it got dark or until they couldn’t hear the scrapes and the groans of the monsters anymore; maybe they hadn’t moved until Paige fell asleep under her mother’s watchful eye, but the memory of an old man wasn’t necessarily something completely reliable. He briefly remembers them fleeing off campus, forgoing a car in favour of attempting to sneak around behind walls, buildings and cars with a sleeping four year old in their care. They stopped short half way out of town, turning to hide in the brush of the road side woods, Isabella looked ready to drop so Luke took Paige into his arms, an overwhelming sense of protectiveness washing over him as the child unconsciously burrowed herself under his sweater.

The first night they spent out in the new world wasn’t particularly safe, he and Isabella took shifts every couple of hours until dawn, hiding under a small overhang of dirt, shielded by a grubby pond and overgrown weeds like a natural curtain. Paige never stirred, luckily, just hid herself amongst the fabrics of the clothes of whoever was holding her; Luke made the decision that day that while he couldn’t find his family, he was going to keep this one together until they were safe and in a place he knew they’d be protected in. Nothing was going to take these girls away from each other.

If only Luke back then what Luke knew now.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few years on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took forever, the last section took me forever to figure out so F.
> 
> Next chapter is the last backstory chapter and then we get onto bulkier, plot heavy things.

At twenty, one would think they’d be mature enough to understand the ways of the world, how to take care of others and how to be part of a group larger than three. The ways of the world are different now, Hux knows that, it’s kill or be killed, make sacrifices or be the sacrifice, this whole mess had started not too soon after his fifteenth birthday and it has been about four winters from then, so Hux can only make the educated guess that his twentieth birthday was a week or so ago, fifth winter is just around the corner and he’s as unprepared for it as he had been the previous years. The one big difference is that the two children he’s in charge of are much bigger now, and he’s nowhere near a town to get them the clothes they need to not freeze to death; when he found them, just set in the forest wailing and probably drawing every one of the dead from miles around, he’d been sixteen, he feels far less prepared now than he had back then.

**0o0o0**

_He doesn’t think he’s ever heard such a noise before, the wailing seems to bounce off the bark of the trees, scare the birds out of their nests and his skin crawls at the thought of how many dead could be around. He doesn’t know why he goes looking, he has no idea how to take care of a dog let alone a human child but maybe he just thinks a baby deserves a better chance in this world than his father attempted to give him._

_He finds them in no kind of clearing. The two babies, probably barely a few hours old from the looks of them, are wrapped in identical blankets and simply set on top of a thorn bush, no wonder they’re crying. One of the babies is a pale skinned girl, the other a dark skinned boy, they both almost immediately stop crying the minute he gets them both in his grip good enough to start walking back to his hideout. He realises all they want is their parents, probably, but Hux hadn’t seen any mother or father around the bush, there were no bodies either, it was as if the mothers of these children had given birth, dumped them and ran… Hux didn’t know if he was angry or sympathetic._

_They aren’t far from the road, he climbs the hill in long strides and hushes the boy as he stirs somewhat. Hux has been hiding above the same convenience store for the past several days, it hadn’t been completely looted when he found it, and while he hadn’t been discovered he figured it’s still the best place to hide until he has some semblance of a plan in regards to these kids. He’d been by himself since his father died a few months ago, grabbed by an unseen monster after trying to use Hux as bait for him to make his escape; he supposes he relates to these children in their similar background of being unwanted._

_He gets into the store from the back, peeking into the main part of the building in case someone had broken in while he was out, it appears clear enough for him to rush upstairs. The apartment had been owned by the previous landlord of the store (Hux assumes, based on what he’d found when he first broke in), there was a collection of worn pillows in the corner closest to the boarded up window that provided the most light. He supposes he’ll just have to stay awake all night for the next however long these babies survive._

_He places the two on the blankets as carefully as he can manage with only one arm wrapped around each, the girl curls further into her blanket while the boy whimpers and reaches out; Hux never knew babies showed personality traits so early. He hushes the boy, placing him close to the girl, dropping his backpack next to them and removing his beat up jacket to lay over them, slightly weighted by the gun and dagger in his inside pockets so he hopes that makes them feel close to someone while he runs downstairs._

_He hops the counter, grabbing a basket from next to the till and finding the minimal baby section that had barely been touched by anyone. He grabs containers of the formula, hoping he’s not going to be the reason they die because of his shit supply of water, the few plastic bottles that don’t have cracks or excessive dust, and a packet of diapers, probably too big for them at this point but its better than nothing._

_He hauls the basket back up the stairs, placing it next to his backpack and sitting cross legged next to the children. He looks at the sunlight shining over the girl’s sleeping form and feels a sort of smile pull at his chapped lips, “Rey,” he mumbles, tucking her into her side of the makeshift bed before turning to the boy and seeing him grip the dog tags hanging off Hux’s bag. They were made for him by his father to try and inspire him to join the military when he got older, **FN-2187** , “Finn.”_

_They weren’t bad names for the apocalypse. Maybe he can do this after all._

**0o0o0**

He had hope then. The world was still decaying and he was still young… he loves Finn and Rey as well as any adoptive-father could. He hates remembering the many times over his more depressed episodes where he just wanted to ditch them in the woods again, maybe yell as loud as he could and run, he reminded himself too much of his father and quite frankly he’d rather die than put his wards through the same things he had to put up with. He can’t yell at them, he hasn’t got the heart, the fire to do so, and he’d rather set himself as monster food than hit them.

At least back then Hux could keep them warm with scarves and small towels, now he has to find proper clothes, coats, mittens, anything, they’re relatively small for four year olds (his fault, he knows, but water for formula had been hard to come by) but he can only hold them in his coat for so long. Sure they could walk, they aren’t beyond that, but they’re slow and he worries his long strides will leave them lost, or they’ll trip, start crying, attract a monster and either get them all killed or leave Hux with a worse complex than one he has now. He’s tried to raise them properly, but he hardly had a chance to get out of a youthful mindset when he found them, he doesn’t know how to be a adult properly, he has no parents anymore, not that his actual parents were particularly good to him, but without _someone_ , how is he supposed to be a parent now?

Sometimes he feels like he lost his mind a while ago, that he actually did get Rey and Finn killed during a time where there wasn’t enough water, or lost one or both of them to a monster, sometimes he thinks the children he holds are just their corpses or figments of his sick imagination. But then Finn calls him dad or Rey grabs his hair, they catch him crying and wrap themselves around him by their own choice and he feels just a little less broken.

He isn’t entirely sure what he's going to do this winter. But he knows that whatever happens he’s either making it out with his kids or he’s going down with them. There’s nothing left for him except them and if they don’t get to live in this world, however fucked up it is, then he doesn’t get to either. They’re worth more than he’ll ever be.

* * *

Ben hears Poe grunt as he awkwardly stands on the other teen’s head to catch his waning balance. He offers a muttered apology, but cheers in minor triumph as he _finally_ plucks the nest off the tree; fifth winter had passed a number of weeks ago and the birds have started laying eggs again, his mom isn’t overly fond of the boys stealing the eggs, but he and Poe both rationalise that there are hundreds of other nests so it’s not like the birds are going to go extinct. Poe, seventeen by now and way taller, gets Ben, now fourteen, back on the ground as safely as possible (with Ben only slightly twisting his ankle) and claps him on the shoulder when he sees the mini haul of eggs they have. Enough for all four of them.

Chewie, a tiny, adorable St Bernard puppy yips as they come back to their camp, his mom shushes the pup and runs her hand through his fur. They’d found him hiding out in the dumpsters of the last town they passed through; his mom said he’d been about three or so weeks old and that in the next few years they’re going to have a very big dog on their hands. He doesn’t mind, he certainly doesn’t think Poe minds, and while Chewie may have been named after his dad’s old war dog that his mom knew, he knows she doesn’t mind having him around either. After what happened to his dad they kind of needed a reminder that he could still be out there.

**0o0o0**

_They’ve broken into a small house a the end of a cul-de-sac, third winter has hit and they’re planning to stay the night after ransacking the place for winter gear. The oncoming weeks are going to be hard and they know that, Mrs Dameron has been telling them what kinds of medications they should be looking for in case one or more of them gets pneumonia or anything worse._

_The house isn’t particularly warm, considering there's no power the heat inside could be non existent so any warmth is welcome to their little group. Poe grabs Ben’s hand and drags him upstairs, they find one of the bedrooms, it looks like it belonged to a teen boy - one into sports if the posters are anything to go by - which is lucky for them. Ben is twelve at this point and going through a somewhat uncomfortable growth spurt, and Poe is fourteen and they’re almost the same height; the hope is there’ll be something they can find some coats or thicker sweaters._

_They rifle through drawers, pull whatever’s left in the wardrobe, and make a big pile on the bed. There isn’t much, most either taken when this family left during the outbreak or already looted by other survivors, but they find a couple of sweaters made from an itchy feeling material - but put over the top of Ben’s longer sleeved turtleneck, he doesn’t feel it much._

_“Ben, Poe,” his dad calls up the stairs, the two dart out of the room, his dad seems to smile at them in their dark sweaters, “I’m heading a few paces down the road for the stores, okay?”_

_He finds himself nodding, and he hops down the stairs to hug his dad around the waist, quickly enveloped by both his parents. They offer quick, almost non-existent, goodbyes and good lucks before his dad is zipping up his coat, pulling his gun from his pocket, and leaving out the front door._

_Poe comes downstairs and helps Mrs Dameron start a fire in the fireplace of the living room, Ben’s mom shoos them both into the kitchen to sift through the remains of the cupboards and pantry; at this point a lot of things are out of date but if they look, smell, and taste okay they’ll take it (at this point Ben is yet to get his bow, yet to start trying to hunt and relying on his somewhat oversized sword to keep him alive). They find a few cans of barely in date beans, some crazy expensive brand of dried fruits and trail, and a couple bottles of water, but not much else; back in the living room his mom is looking through the curtains at the street outside with an expression Ben’s learned to translate as ‘fearful uncertainty’._

_“Mom?” He calls, eyebrows furrowing as he drops the cans he’s holding into Poe’s bag. He aims to go to the window but his mom grabs his shoulder and pushes him back._

_“We have to go.”_

_“But what about dad?!”_

_“Your dad would want us to leave, Ben,” she places her hands on both his shoulders and crouches to look into his eyes, she sighs, “there’s a horde incredibly close and he wouldn’t want us to get trapped or hurt just waiting for him. He’ll find us.”_

_Something bangs against the door and Poe yelps, hiding behind Mrs Dameron. He looks at his mom with pleading eyes, his muscles tensing at every hit to the door, she shakes her head and places a kiss to his hairline before standing to her full height and grabbing his hand to head to the back of the house._

_He doesn’t have a chance to marvel at the huge garden, he almost falls into a dirty pond by getting distracted at a greenhouse. Poe hops the fence as easily as any teenager could, Ben hears a few bodies hit the floor and he sees the bodies of two monsters when Poe helps him over to his side. Their moms get over as best they can, Ben and Poe help where they can but mostly take a guarding role with their sword and daggers respectively, keeping stray monsters away as they traverse down the back alley behind the houses. They avoid the main road, they can hear huddled growls when they get even remotely close._

_Ben doesn’t quite keep track of where they’re going until they’re on a bigger but mostly road, slowly leaving the small estate and back out into the world with less supplies and less protection than they started with._

_His dad doesn’t find them again, they never have an opportunity to go back and check the house or the store because the horde keep moving and they don’t have enough bullets to thin it out enough. His dad is just gone. Nothing crazy even happened just bad luck… but that’s just how the world works Ben supposes._

**0o0o0**

They never saw him again, he’s either dead or just out there, somewhere, either looking for them or thinking they're dead the same as they think him.

Ben sighs, a small smile pulling at his lips as Chewie stumbles over his own feet to leap over to him, Poe chuckles as the dog squeezes under his leg as he gets the eggs cooking on their fire.

Leia gives them a look as the eggs begin to sizzle and the two roll their eyes as they unstrap their weapons ‘ _no weapons at the dinner table_ ’ no ifs, ands, or buts about it. Poe sets his pistol next to his pack, clicking the safety on in case Chewie got his mouth around it again, he also pulls the dual knives from his boots and shoves them in the bottle holder of his bag. Ben’s bow already rests against his bag, but the sword at his hip is a small hassle to unbuckle from his belt, the long blade poking at the stones of the fire as he passes it over to sit with the rest of their stuff.

He weaves his fingers into Chewie’s fur, looking solemnly at their measly group then back at Poe; with them being in sixth spring its been almost exactly two years since they lost Mrs Dameron, and unlike his dad, all of them know the fate that befell Poe’s mother.

**0o0o0**

_The loss of Ben’s dad is still relatively fresh, sure its been at least a few months since it’s fourth spring now, but in their world thats just a blip. The days blur together and the seasons feel like they happen all at the same time, the four of them are still figuring out their dynamic with his dad not around. His dad had been their leader, he knew what he was doing, he’d been in war before, his mom had only ever been a very brief prisoner of war and then a whole bunch of family drama kept her from helping out more until way later. Mrs Dameron had only been a nurse during the war, she’s useful when one of them is hurt, and has been teaching Poe all about first aid in case they lose each other at some point. But without his dad, they were a scrambled mess; his mom does what she can and Poe is kind of taking the reins while also being the only older male figure Ben has going through the hell that is puberty right now._

_He thinks that’s why when they’d entered the horde filled theatre hall, they could only run and get lost within the halls of an unfamiliar building. Ben skids around a corner following after Mrs Dameron, he doesn’t see where his mom or Poe is and he hardly has a chance to wonder before he’s slipping down another set of stairs when an office room proves full as well. Some of the monsters are fast, still having good use of their legs and often, the ones without arms are faster than they may be; so while the snapping of teeth in his ear isn’t unexpected, it’s still fucking terrifying._

_Somehow they make it back to the main room, they see his mom and Poe waiting outside, frantic eyes catching them and probably the dozens bigger horde following behind them. Ben reaches he door first, sliding in one side at the same time Mrs Dameron tumbles into the other side and then they're locked, not enough room on either side to get outside and no way to move and fix their fuck up because the monsters are already pushing themselves against the glass. Ben strains to hold them back, he and Mrs Dameron putting equal weight on their sides to just try and keep each other alive to try and figure out how to just fix this._

_He can see how horrified his mom looks, her wide eyes flitting between both her close friend and her son. Poe seems to be in a similar dilemma, jumping the stairs to come to the door; his face twists, Ben can see the conflict in his eyes and his unwillingness to touch the door for fear of condemning one of them to death. Ben’s pretty positive they all know what’s about to happen, Mrs Dameron would never forgive herself if she saved her own life by sacrificing Ben’s. That doesn’t make it any easier when she speaks to Poe though._

_“Honey, look at me,” she’s soft but commanding, voice and eyes as wet as each other, “you know what’s going to happen, baby you do, and I want you to know that I love you and that I could never love anyone as much as I love you.” Her cheeks are wet now, the tears clearing paths to her tan skin through the dirt that had collected, Ben feels his own eyes spring with tears. “I’m proud of who you are, even through all this, okay? I’m proud of you and I always will be. You’re going to be a great man and you’re going to look after Leia and Ben for me, aren’t you.” Poe nods, openly sobbing at her. “You’re going to use all that knowledge of yours and keep them alive until you get someplace safe,” she reaches forward, fingers reaching the doorframe where Poe grasps them as best he can._

_Mrs Dameron looks to him then, her smile is broken and Ben knows she isn’t ready. But she nods anyway, pulling away from Poe who starts yelling but the white noise in Ben’s ears overpowers anything. Mrs Dameron pushes back with all her strength and he isn’t nearly focused enough to stop her, he rolls out of the door and into Poe who's been grabbed by his mom. Ben doesn’t see what happens to Mrs Dameron like the other two, but his hearing spites him and makes him listen to her wet sobs and pained screams._

_His mom has to drag them to the car._

**0o0o0**

They don’t talk about any of it though, of course they don’t. Mrs Dameron’s death was traumatising for all of them in so many different ways: Poe had to watch his mother die in the worst way possible with no way of shielding his eyes or ears, his mom had to deal with the loss of her last friend and the responsibility of taking care of two distraught teenagers by herself for the next indeterminable amount of years, and Ben? Ben had to deal with the guilt of letting his best friend’s mom die out of a stupid mistake he made, he didn’t get through the doors fast enough and it had been his fault they got stuck in that situation, Mrs Dameron would’ve never had to accept her fate to let Ben live. But she had.

As for his dad, well that had caused a number of problems and they mostly don’t talk about it because those moments are some of the only ones he sees his mom openly cry at. He hates seeing his mom cry and Poe hates seeing her cry too. His dad and Mrs Dameron were off the table conversation topics from the day after they happened.

Coming on six years after the outbreak and Ben and Poe have so many other things to be haunted by than just that first day. Some of the events they remember, others they block out and forget they ever happened except the scars that remind them of whatever it is they forgot. Ben doesn't know if Poe feels the same, but he's surprised he made it this far… he’s made a lot of dumb mistakes, but they’ve always hit others worse than they hit him and at this point he feels he deserves any bad luck this hellhole of a world could throw at him.

But he gets to see what the future holds. He’ll survive. If not for himself, then for his mom and best friend who don’t deserve to lose anything else to these monsters.

* * *

Paige, age nine at the moment (ten in a month or so), sighs tiredly, slouching back against a tree and breathing in the cool air of late sixth spring. Her - currently - three year old sister, Rose, squirms a little in her grip, pulling at Paige’s hair and reaching for the necklace hanging from her neck. Luke went looking for a nearby creek maybe ten minutes ago, but Paige isn’t good at this babysitting thing and is already tired; she isn’t particularly fond of this sister role she’s been given either, but she’s not as hateful of Rose as she used to be: the toddler has too cute a face and too pure a personality for Paige to blame her for what happened to their mother anymore. 

It hadn’t been Rose’s fault, not really, she blames the man who got her mom pregnant during the end of the world, a man they all initially trusted but who ended up running off after whatever he did to her mom. Honestly she thinks she’s seen too much of the real world for someone her age, she feels awful that Rose isn’t going to have a proper childhood; Paige already knows how to throw knives, fire a hand gun, handle a lead pipe, and she’s _nine_ , but it’s what she has to do and what Rose has to do when she’s old enough too.

Rose had been born late third autumn, Paige was only six so really she doesn’t remember all the details of what happened, just that it wasn’t pretty. If it had happened now, while Paige is a little more aware and hardened by the world, the memory would end up showing itself in dreams, would end up being more harrowing - she thinks to Luke, it is. She remembers the little things, how bright her too-big raincoat and rain boots were, how loud all the screaming and the crying had been during the probably-terrifying ordeal, the one thing she remembers vividly is how wet her eyes and cheeks were as Luke carried her and her new baby sister away from where her mom lay. Whether she was dead because of the birth or because of the monsters who tore at her afterwards was the one thing Paige wasn’t sure of.

After all that Paige had refused to hold Rose for weeks, she got as far away from Luke and the baby girl when they got someplace safe to stay for a night and she doesn’t remember a time she didn’t despise Rose until late into fourth winter and she’d turned one. Paige is mostly over the blame she initially placed on her sister… mostly. She feels bad that Rose will never get to know what their mom sounded like, Paige has pictures - very few, but still _something_ \- so they would never forget what she looked like; Paige honestly thinks even she’s forgetting how her mom sounded, she can’t even remember what the last thing her mom said to her was.

Luke says that its okay shes forgetting sometimes, he says that her mom wouldn’t have wanted her to look back at her memory and bee sad or scared about it, that her mom would rather she forget her altogether than cry every time she realised she was forgetting. But then Luke says its okay that she doesn’t know how to feel too, that its okay to cry when they're someplace safe because it’ll make her feel better - but Paige doesn’t remember the last time she cried that wasn’t when they left her mom to die in the woods.

The bushes rustle from next to them for enough time that Rose freezes and Paige manages to get her knife in her hand while keeping a good grip on the other girl. She only manages to worry for a second before Luke is tripping over roots and pulling leaves off his cloak with the two thermoses in his hands.

Rose makes grabby hands at him, “Uncle Luke!” She’s slightly too loud for Paige’s taste but Luke doesn’t seem too perturbed by her excitement, moving around the two of them to put the thermoses in the side pouches on Paige’s bag to then take Rose out of her arms and begin leading their hike again.

“Anything by the creek?” She asks, voice barely above a whisper and somewhat raspy from how little she uses it outside.

Luke shakes his head, “nothing that I could see, the water was the cleanest we’ve found so boiling didn’t take too long. Upstream there may be some kind of village, but I wouldn’t bet on it.”

She nods then, taking his outstretched arm and clinging to his big hands like Rose clings to his cloak. Paige wishes she asked more about him than she did, he knows her life story - basically known her since she was a baby - but before this point, she was never old enough to coherently ask or remember anything. She feels like she knows the bare minimum of what her mother used to tell her, about Luke’s sister, brother-in-law, and nephew that part of this trek he was using to find them (either dead or alive at this point), but other than that, Paige knew nothing about Luke’s family or what he was like with them, how he felt about things.

Sometimes she wishes she was older, not only so she didn’t have to watch her world burn before she could experience it, but so she could learn how to handle people, so that she didn’t have to remember how much she hated Rose and feel bad about it. She wishes she was older a lot.

But then she realises that if she was older, she may not live long enough to see the world fix itself and go back to some semblance of normality.

And then she also realises she might not live that long anyway.


End file.
